Disneyland Taxis:North Shields

by northtynehack on June 22, 2008

in Humour

I had cause to visit Disneyland Taxis yesterday in the centre of sunny North Shields.

Whilst there I was lucky enough to partake of a cup of coffee from their legendary coffee machine (Est.1958) This coffee has magic medicinal qualities and is guaranteed to fight off ‘Salmonella,Ecoli and Influenza’

Whilst pouring endless amounts of loose change into this machine I happened to bump into ‘Dopey’       “Dopey” I said “how ya keepin,would you like a coffee?”  after a long pause and a blank stare,Dopey replied: “Sniff! er no thanks, coke’s more my thing” “OK,Suit yourself” I say. 

“Dopey! what’s this new ad you have in the Donald Tribune?”     pause, blank stare….”Oh Yeah! it sez we start at 90p an they are Mickey Mouse Fairs! He! He! He!”  ” Fairs” I say ” Like the Spanish City?”     “Yeah, He! He! an we only charge £14.50 for a 30 mile round trip to the Airport from the coast”  “My goodness” I say   ”those are indeed Mickey Mouse Fares aren’t they?  Were they established in 1958 aswell?”      Blank stare!   “Are your driver rents Mickey mouse ?”  Blank stare!  ” what about the bit that say’s save at least £1.40 off every journey compared to them nasty ,evil black taxis on the rank?”    “Er! Oh yeah well that’s just a play on words innit!”     “What, so that’s not strictly true then?”   Blank stare…squirm….mutter…mutter   “Dopey, Dopey are you all right, shall I get Snow white?”    at that point Dopey waddled off muttering Hi Ho or something, jumped in his Doblo and ranked up with the rest of the nasty evil  black Taxis on North Shields Rank!!

All Characters in the previous  account, based on actual events, are fictional and any resemblance or similarity to real Human Beings is entirely co-incidental.   
        

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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

Grumpy June 23, 2008 at 12:45 am

Hey, next you see Dopey tell him to get his backside home soon, cos Snow White wants 7up

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yorkshire terrier June 23, 2008 at 10:56 pm

I note with interest that Dopey claims, in his advert,to be paying for the rising cost of fuel.Well thats not really true is it Dopey?
Its your DRIVERS who also pay you £108 every week!

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dopey k June 25, 2008 at 12:53 pm

a message to the the hacks on metro rank,please continue to come in to my office for coffee and other refreshments etc your custom and money is appreciated.as for the mickey mouse rates at least these competitive fares keep our drivers busy and not sitting around on rank earning very little,a job an hour if you are lucky.i know as i sometimes help yous out when i need a bit extra cash for one of my many holidays.the fifty years we-ve been in business is down to having some great drivers who offer a first class service day and night.that is how all my family live in comfortable houses in tynemouth.any hacks interested in renting a plotter to increase their earning potential no where to catch me.

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P/H driver whitley bay June 26, 2008 at 9:30 pm

I found this post quite amusing but I have to say in all seriousness I think this site is a good thing, as long as it doesn’t descend into a slanging match between P/H and Hacks.
I was a Hack for 15 years and have been P/H for the last 10 years so I can see both sides of any debate within the trade. I like the site name ‘Toomanytaxis’…Too True! I know the hacks have it tough but it’s getting that way in the offices now. There seem to be more and more cars every year but there is no increase in work. I’ll keep coming back and see if it gets better or goes the other way, I would suggest the owner or owners of this site keep it interesting and maybe we can all benefit. Cheers! P/H Driver

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yorshire terrierl June 27, 2008 at 12:28 am

Good comments P/H Whitley Bay.There’s always room on a site like this for a bit of banter,but don’t worry the site is mainly for serious debate.We’ve got to do everything legally possible to halt the erosion of our trade and this is how we’ve started.A new association and a new website with a bit of bite.Membership increasing week on week.Soon to be a FORCE to be reckoned with,contrary to claims made by others.

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anon June 27, 2008 at 5:28 pm

reply to yorkshire terrier,your new association a force to be reckoned with soon?dont make me laugh,you had a chance to take on dopey when you introduced shields metro taxis running on competitive rates in line with dopeys office.but as soon as the heed had the weekend off you spineless lot went back to normal and now years down the line you are struggling to make a living.the council wont listen to yous as they havent to nthca for the 10 years i-ve had a plate.

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yorshire terrierl June 27, 2008 at 8:05 pm

Well Anon!(bet it took you a long time to think that name up).You don’t know half of what’s going on or what dialogue we have had with the council.We couldn’t give a toss what Dopey does.The NTHCA is an association run by one man for the good of one man!Anyhow why hide behind anon.My name is clearly displayed on the back of my proper taxi.I’m not scared who knows who I am.

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admin June 27, 2008 at 8:49 pm

Reply to the latest Anon, Big family them Anons, If you’ve had a plate for 10 years you might think straight for a minute and maybe give support to “the spineless” one’s who are trying to make a difference, What’s your problem? what’s it to you what we do and if you are a Hack plate owner we’re speaking on your behalf aswell,wether you like it or not, so keep coming back and spout whatever drivel you can come up with.. it’s all good for the site stats!

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ANOTHA HACK June 27, 2008 at 9:03 pm

HERES ANOTHER REPLY “ANON” JUSY GOES TO SHOW YOU HAVENT GOT THE FAINTEST IDEA WOT WENT ON WHEN WE INTRODUCED THE LOW FARES NOBODY WAS SPINELESS UNLIKE YOURSELF AT LEAST WE TRY AND MAKE THINGS WORK UNLIKE DOPEYS DRIVERS {WHICH YOUR PROB ONE OV} WHO JUST LET HIM TOTALLY TAKE THE PISS OUT OV YOURSELVES AND GO GROVELLING DAY IN AND DAY OUT , YOUS ALL WANT TO GET A GRIP AND GET A SPINE YOURSELVES .ALSO “FACT” IT NEVER WENT TITS UP WHEN THE HEED WAS OFF {IF HE EVER WAS} WE DONT RELY ON ONE PERSON MOST OV US STICK TOGETHER UNLIKE YOURSELVES . YOUS COULD DO WITH TAKING A LEAF OUT OV OUR BOOK .

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anon June 28, 2008 at 2:22 pm

reply to yorkshire terrier,havent seen a hack yet with his name on it yet,are you a proprietor or a rent boy?

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anon June 28, 2008 at 9:33 pm

reply to anotha hack,i know exactly what went on when you intoduced the low fares.you made a fool of the likes og germaney and a couple of others.i dont work for dopey or any office and my life doesnt revolve around redbull&proplus and 15-20hr shifts,i work to live not live to work like 95% of you lot!!! stick together doing what exactly?how long you been in the game,bet your one of the ones that nearly had a fit when there was talk of going on strike to stop the plates that killed the job.yous live week to week and didnt look at the bigger picture.its their for all too see now!!!

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yorshire terrierl June 29, 2008 at 1:23 am

Hello everybody!I*ts me again,the TERRIEER.Only person on this site with something constructive to say.I* am the domino card king !

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Dangeermouse June 29, 2008 at 1:40 am

Who’s this yorkshire terrier.Thinks he’s abit of a superstar.Somebody tell me who he is cos i need to av a word wiv im.

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Ginga Minga,whitley June 29, 2008 at 1:47 am

Listen tossers!I decide what happens in this borough!

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UNHAPPY HACK June 29, 2008 at 12:11 pm

Did anyone see any council officials out in Whitley bay last night because i certainly did not , once again our work was getting stolen by not only out of town cars but also north tyne-side private hire pulling up and just taking fares when ever they get the chance . when is our council going to pull their finger out and do something about this mess we have . Not only is it in Whitley bay but also tyne-mouth [Sammy jacks] where private hire just automatically rank up in numbers as well as other areas . I think now is the time we introduced RANK MARSHALS , surely that is the easy solution , then they can keep a check on who is there legitimately and who are actually FLIMPIN and sort this mess out once and for all .I no many drivers feel the same so something to discuss at our next meeting which is July 9 , 7.00 at the Vic on borough rd north shields , any hack drivers welcome .

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stevie June 29, 2008 at 3:54 pm

Very good point there “unhappy hack” , i also think that rank marshals would be an exellent idea , why was there nothing like this thought of much much earlier . This is my first visit to this site and i am quite impressed lets hope that those who can do anything about it does !

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DISNEYLAND DRIVER June 29, 2008 at 11:15 pm

WHY DONT YOU LEAVE DOPEY K ALONE YOU TOSSERS.ITS ALL DOWN TO JEALOUSY HE HAS A GOOD OFFICE YOU ALL WORKED THERE!!YOU SHARP COME RUNNING XMAS AND NEWYEAR FOR PLOTTERS TAKING THE WORK OFF US REGULAR DRIVERS.YOUS ARE JUST AS BAD.THIS SITE WAS MEANT TO BENEFIT TAXI DRVERS AND TRY TO MAKE THINGS BETTER BUT ITS JUST TURNING INTO A SLAGGING MATCH INSTEAD OV HIDING BEHIND COMPUTERS TO GAN ON, WHY DONT YOU GO IN TO THE OFFICE SAY IT.NAH COS COME XMAS YOU WILL WANT PLOTTERS!!

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sleepy June 30, 2008 at 5:21 pm

I have only drove a taxi for 7 years but my familly have been in the business for 40, I have heard the same patter since i was 10 years old about its not like it used to be, ” we used to make 10 bob a week now were we are lucky if we make 50 pence!” yes you have blamed everything from decimilisation to global warming!! thats just private hire, i drive one of dopeys doblos and i work hard to earn a living if its quiet i do more hours if its been busy i spend more time with my familly i presumed that is why we all came to work to provide and to have a social life. well……

I was informed through a source close to the “hackney carriage c.b radio new sherriff in town brigade” that driving one of centrals doblos i was not actually a real hack driver and when in the rank they would pick up behind me and discount me from ranks! this was a year ago and i have watched for a long time all of the cars pull out of the rank with customers in its amazing the double standards these people have, and by the way none of you hack drivers own your plate you simply rent it off the council the same as dopey does and puts them on his company cars for use by any one that wishes to rent them and go and make a living!!!

I here people say “you always see those central doblo’s flying all over the place!!” yes they do we work for a living the rent is quite a lot of money to pay out! its the same all over the country i work hard for my familly and believe all people who work in the business should be playing on a level playing field, so why doesn’t everyone grow up start working instead of winging there is more to life! if your not quite making the money on the rank you know what to do plotters available!! over and out good buddies got to go smokey on my tail yeeeeeeeeeee haaa!!!!!!!!!

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AL June 30, 2008 at 6:55 pm

35 members+ in this new association and counting after only a few weeks, anyone wishing to join up contact Ali Breadmore or Marvin or ask anyone who has the http://WWW.TooManyTaxis.Co.Uk stickers on the back of their car. The more the merrier, lets pull together and get some results.

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admin July 1, 2008 at 11:39 am

Response to Sleepy: I agree with a lot of what you say, not a lot has changed since you were 10,unless you count the fact that private hire has risen from 250 cars to over 800 Hacks from 90 to 205.Berwick & other out of town cars have arrived. In the meantime 7 nightclubs are no longer here,out of town shopping has arrived,every household has an average of 2 cars and there is a bigger licensing department,we used to have 1 enforcement officer.
Maybe we do rent a licence off the council in which case Central,Blueline and East Coast must rent their operators Licences from the same Council but there is still a monetary value on those businesses,wouldn’t you agree?
What you label wingeing is what people have done for years & you are also doing it.As soon as someone tries to stimulate debate the labellers step in. In actual fact your input is welcome,it adds to the debate but why do you feel you have to have a go! If people are bumpin you, get out of your car and tell them it’s not on! don’t whine on here about it, GET THEM TELT! Speak up! All the Anons and the P/H’s & the ANUTHA HACK …are we all that petrified of each other that we have to hide behind pseudonyms to do our name calling. If you are on a Rank and you bump the cars in front of you, you are in the wrong,if you are a Private Hire or Berwick car flimpin,you are in the wrong,
no two ways about it, not a whinge but the truth. Everyone of us agrees to conditions of Licence! Submitted by Marvyn Fereday

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Yorshire Terrier July 1, 2008 at 9:21 pm

Just a short note to Sleepy.You know,it’s quite interesting what one can tune into when one has an expensive,top of the range Citizens Band radio set.

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Yorkshire Terrier July 1, 2008 at 9:37 pm

Come on,Happy,Bashful,Grumpy,Sneezy and Doc.Don’t you have anything to say?Dopey and Sleepy are getting a bit boring!

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jimmy1 July 1, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Hey Sleepy, sure your not Dopey 10 Bob is 50 pence isn’t it??

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sleepy July 2, 2008 at 7:29 am

jimmy mate, it was a bit of comedy I’ll explain, its complaining about something changing its name but remaining the same in value.
hence there was nothing to winge about but they did!

yorkshire terrier, you must be really bored listening to central drivers asking “who nicked my fare” “what time is my last booking” “do you want owt from the kebab shop!!!” all of this is recorded and any one who thinks there is something crooked happening can ask to listen to these voice requests there is nothing to hide.

or is your rubber ducky on top of your car that good it can translate the voice requests from the cars with berwick plates!
If it can would you give the suppliers name to dopey ha ha :)

and to end, im trying to inject a bit of humor into a serious subject i take our trade seriously and would like everyone to be fair not just to each other but to our citizens. Taxi driving has always been a part of life for the british lets try and keep it going lads!!!

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Yorkshire Terrier July 2, 2008 at 11:10 am

Who said anything about listening to Central drivers?Please don’t get paranoid.And I always carry my Indian,Pakistani,Polish and Iranian phrase books in my car!

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Allan Miller ( TC ) July 2, 2008 at 3:12 pm

I think P/H drivers should bear in mind that the reason the Berwick plates or out of area plates came about was because a couple of very rich office proprieters wanted to use the “SO CALLED”loop hole in the hackney carriage laws to bring in cheap labour to drive there cars to make them even richer, only for it to back fire , so bear that in mind it wasnt to make things easier or cheaper for P/H drivers , thats why yous to need to get your act together yourselves to fight for your rights..mind the free for all at the airport hasnt helped considering they are running on a radio circi if the truth be known thats what kicked the argument off in the 1st place…..

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disneyland driver July 2, 2008 at 5:01 pm

well said sleepy come on bring sum more central 1-0 yorkshire ripper sorry (terrier)nil

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Sandra,driver,Blackpool July 2, 2008 at 10:44 pm

I have been viewing this site for a couple of weeks now.But some of your contributors are trying to turn it into a vehicle for slagging off one particular private hire office in your area.Surely they should be aiming any frustrations or complaints at your local licensing authority,North Tyneside or Newcastle or whoever it is.

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anon July 3, 2008 at 11:08 am

reply to yorkshire terrier,your comments could be seen to be racsist but a dog who can read is a first!! you should be in a circus not driving a taxi

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disneyland driver July 3, 2008 at 2:37 pm

good point made sandra!!thats how pathetic its be come!!its a pointless website totally aimed at 1 company that the owner of this site is causing threats and violence who is acctually scared that our office which is situated right next to the hack rank is taking all the work!jealousy is what i come up with.by the way marv i have a stab proof vest if you need it after todays little incident even the passengers sick of it!!please approve this and dont block it like the rest let the world see it cheers

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Hugh Jardon July 4, 2008 at 1:27 am

Well said Sandra, how are things going in Blackpool? it would be good to get updates from around the Country because i think we are all suffering hard times.

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